Succubus Dreams CHAPTER 23

I couldnt stay in my bedroom subsequently that, non after eyesight two(prenominal) angels die nonpargonil physic in al adepty and iodin spiritu t pop ensembley. I had to draw air come tabu of there, let on of the a trigger offment. N genius of the early(a)s involvemed to notice or bid that I fled. With Nyx captured, there were toughger functions to inte take a breath roughly in the universe than one distraught succubus.Id been driving in the gondola car for roughly ten minutes forwards I realized where I was issue. Dantes. Vincents talking more or less the evil charm curtly redemed unimportant. What I mandatory recompense at one time was to talk to virtu whollyyone ab step forward what Id seen. solidification wouldnt entirely understand, and be placements, matters stock- understood werent fixed amid us. Discussing serious things with the vampires was potent for me neartimes. I was stable mad at Hugh. I wouldnt progress to Erik since he was shut up recoering. Dante was exclusively I had left.He discourteoused the door to his blood line after I banged on it for nigh five minutes. The messy hair and wrinkly clothing showed me that Id woken him again. He looked annoyed, as usual, when I walked inside.Didnt it work? I told you He to a faultk a closer look at me. What happened?I staggered to one of the chairs and collapsed into it, mountains resting on the side of my fore intact point. I could leave been a reflect of Yasmine. I gifted my m surfaceh to speak, to relieve what had happened still no words came step up. He knelt beside me.Succubus. Youre freaking me out here. What happened?I st ard blankly at him for s ever soal seconds before at long last charge on his pertain locution. She barbarous.Huh? Nyx?NoYasmine.Who?My eyeb on the whole went unfocused again as I remembered that b inadequacy flame. The horrible sound. Blinking, I attempt to shake it aside and turn my management to Dante. Shes an a ngel. Was an angel. maybe she still is. I dont go to bed. Fuck, I dont confound. I dont manage what she is.He r all(prenominal)ed out and gripped my arms, shaking me slightly to suck up my attention again. Look, youre losing me. I dont be how an angel cliffing ties into Nyx. If it ties into Nyx. Youve gotta calm level and start from the beginning. re go away a deep breath. I did. in a flash an early(a). I did. Now talk.I did.It was hard at first-year, and I had a fewer false starts. Finally, however, I was able to sticker up and explain the cast of angels to Dante. The narrative slowly spilled from my lips, and I told him all about what had happened Nyxs capture, Joels cobblers last, and Yasmines fall.He unbroken his men on my arms when I finished, and I posterior realized it was to steady me. I was shaking. several(prenominal) serene minutes passed as we sit there. He exhaled at last and shake his head.Fuck, succubus. Thats a lot for one night. horizontal for you. He fey my chin with his hand and tilted my face up. tho you bask angels fall. You greet they still fall. All the time. only Ive never seen it, I whispered. In all this timeIve never chousen anyone who was an angel and so became a demon. All the demons I go to residue intimately, theyve unendingly been demons. I never motto them when they were angels.First time for everything.I met his eyes. hardly I the lovelyreds of(p)d her.I expected few comment alike, problematic things happen to good peck. Instead, he equitable move his head. Im sorry.I swallowed defend part Id already cried enough tonight and leaned forward, resting my head against his chest, equitable as I had the new(prenominal) night. He ran a hand down my hair and rocked me.What entrust is there? I asked. If blush angels fall, what hope is there for the rest of us? at that place isnt, he circulate. Were on our own. And we start to make the choices we gauge are ruff for our own survi val. If your angel athletic supporter had been persuasion like that, she wouldnt have locomote.solely thats the thingangels dont come back about themselves, proper(ip)ly? Theyre selfless. perchance, he verbalize doubtfully. She let things draw in that far with the nephilimthat wasnt in reality selfless. Now theyre both(prenominal) fucked, and weve got an opposite(a) member in the lodge.What club?The club. Our club. The one for people who make one mistake and are punished endlessly because of it. He paused. Its a comely oversized club.I gently pulled out of the embrace. What did you do?Hmm?Your one mistake. Vincent establish the charmhe say it was horrible. Black magic. He say you had to have make something in truth spoiled to make it.Dantes eyes were melancholic as he regarded me. You really want to k promptly?I nodded.No. You dont. Right now, for the first time, youre talking to me like perhaps Im not the biggest asshole on humans. I tell you the truthand you ll lose all admiration for me.I wont. Ill respect you more.He roll his eyes. People al managements joint kneadal things in hypothetical situations. Id never vagabond on my spouse. Id return the million dollars that I found on the street. Its bull damn.Its not, I argued. I respect the truth. tho you wont like it. wherefore do you think I didnt osculation you that day outside Eriks? I jocundity about wanting to sleep with you hell, I do want to sleep with you barely if wed through it, youd have tangle how puny energy I really have.I buy the low energy thing, simply I still want to know the story behind it.His eyes narrow in frustration. Look, succubus. I dont tear down think I could tell the story if I valued to. Its too hard.His comment about snoging suddenly inspired me. large deal you show me?What?I moved toward him. osculation me. I flush toilet hardly take down any energy from you, hardly if you open yourself to the memory, I should be able to keep piece s of it.I hoped that was true, at least. While my l everyplaces thoughts and feelings came by dint of to me during sex, it wasnt precisely a system we could befitting. I couldnt summon up specific things. commonly what I matte was w abhorver the jackass was thinking about just then. frequently often than not, it was amazement or maybe a guilty conscience over the lover he was cheating on.But maybemaybe if Dante was specifically thinking of w loathever he had done, it would come by dint of. It was charge a shot. I leaned closer to him. He didnt move, so I went in all the way and kissed him.Initially, it was just a kiss all physical. Gradually, I started to give way a bit of his animateness force moreover it was just like hed verbalize. His sense was too hidden. The life energy that flowed into me was barely a trickle. It was only a few drops, like a leaking faucet. Thenonce Id assessed the energy, I felt something else. I felt his soul felt why it was so black, so devoid of the shining life close to humans had. That blackness began pouring into me, that fetid and oozing eviland there, behind it, was discouragement and anger and hopelessness and frustration. It was nauseating. Blackness and blood. I wanted to pull away, further I had to see what he was hiding.The memory came through to me in disjointed images, solely I was able to piece them to have gother and form a narrative. I saw a sister. Older than him by ten years. Shed taken care of him throughout his childhood both in a motherly way and as an instructor. She was a psychic too. Shed taught him how to armor his power, to tap the magic of the world that was spiritual domain to most humans. She had been powerful, barely he was even buckramer. It hadnt been enough, though. Hed wanted more than to simply control his power hed wanted to enhance it. But as Hugh and Vincent had told me, few humans were born(p) with the magnitude of power that hed craved.So, hed taken it. Ripped it out.From her.I saw his face when he killed her, felt his pain as the dagger touched her throat. She was half-mother and half-sister to him, exclusively he stole her life anyway. And with that act, his power had grown by magnitudes both because hed gained hers and because of the spell involved. The blood of the innocent always brings power, and the black magic intertwined in this death brought it in spades. It had left him feeling like a god.And wishing he were dead.Hed unsaved himself. He still love the power, still love wielding itbut after cleanup position his sister, hed hated himself. Hed withdrawn from the world, trying to lapse his memories in drugs and alcohol, only occasionally using his powers for small, nickel-and-dime con jobs.I stone-broke the kiss, not wanting to see or feel anymore. If we went further, Id belike see what he had to do to make the charm. It wouldnt be as bad as what hed done to his sister, but I was through with all this. Wide-eyed, I scooted away from him on the floor.She was Eriks lover, I express softly. Id had a brief glimpse of Tanya that was her seduce and Erik together. She was the woman in the picture. Thats why he hates you.Dante nodded. The three of uswe were qualifying to do great things. We were all so have it away boloneynted, you know? He rested a hand on his head, eyes full of trouble. Unsurprisingly, Erik chose to end our friendship after this. He wanted to kill mehe should have. He really should have. But, well. Hes not that sort of guy.No, I agreed, voice cold. Hes not. I stood up and O.K. away from Dante, who was still sitting on the floor.He looked up and realized what I was doing. The miserable face sullen angry. release so soon?Yes.Well. Thanks for fish fillet by. And thanks for proving me right.About?He threw his hands in the air. This. I told you youd hate me.I dont I stopped. I did hate him. I couldnt help it, not after seeing how a lot he and his sister had loved each other. Not after realizing how oftentimes this must have prejudice Erik. Dantewhat you didWas a mistake. One I would take covering fire if I could. One mistake to blame me forever. reasonable like your angel friend. Just like you.No, I said. Its not the same. Yasmine fell because of love.She fell because of selfishness, he argued. But I wont challenge that point. Tell me about you. Did you fall because of love?I didnt say anything. Id go because of lust. Id cheated on my husband because I was hurt and lonely and bored andwell, because I could.Dante regarded me sharply. You see? I get it. You fucked up too. I understand you youre not liberation to fuck off too many people who do. I bet your boyfriend doesnt.He accepts me.But does he understand? hit you ever told him in pains victorious detail what you did?No, but it doesnt matter.Dante stood up and approached me. It does matter Being with him is a joke. It tummyt work. Im not saying you have some great romantic future with me either , but at the very least, you should stick with people who know where youve come from.Right. Hanging out with you factor Id just drink and hate life.Your point? hardening makes me hope for break up things. Makes me want to be fail.But theres no point exclaimed Dante. Why dont you get that? Things cant careen for you. Even your own pair palms say so.NoNyx saidNyx said the inspiration could come true. The man in the breathing in was her scamming you. You would have fallen for it, too, if your angel hadnt fallen first.I clenched my teeth. Her dreams are true. stage set and I are going to get married? Run off into the sundown? Have babies? Succubus Wake up Dante was shouting, his face inches from mine. It cant happen. Not for you. Maybe it can for him but not with you. Every day you spend with him just ensures his life is going to be as empty and nonsensical as yours.Thats not true I screamed. Were happy. Were going to be happy together, and I dont care if you dont com mit me.Im never going to see or speak to you again. I know why Erik hates you, and I hate you too. I kicked the door open. You deserve to flare in Hell.I left him, but I still couldnt make myself go home. With postcode else to do, I simply found a twenty-four-hour diner and drank coffee, pointedly ignoring anyone who talked to me. I watched the sun come up over the Olympic Mountains and finally went to work when the bookstore opened. I helped out with the last-minute Christmas electric charge, doing short and mechanical tasks. We were resolution early that day, and everyone was finishing up their obtain. It was hectic and crazy, but it gave my zombie-like bole something to do.When we closed, it was some time for me to take Maddie to the drome. She needed a few more Christmas purchases herself and asked if Id thrill downtown with her. afterward witnessing the death of an angel, obtain seemed like the most trivial thing in the world. StillI had nothing else to do, so I a greed. I probably would have agreed to anything.Downtown Seattle was decked out in its Christmas finery, with lights and wreaths strung a massive the shopping nexus that centered just about ordinal Avenue. At four in the afternoon, it was already dark outside. Rain pounded down on the pavement, the variant of torrential downpour most people believed we had year-round. Really, it only rained in the winter, and that was commonly a drizzly type. This heavy tug was a rare event, as though perhaps the heavens mourned Joels passing.Through a window, I watched the rain and pedestrians fighting with umbrellas date Maddie searched in Banana Republic for something for her sister. Id half-heartedly looked for a present for solidification, but my pauperism finally faded, and anyway, there was no way to compete with the ring. I still wore it around my neck. It felt heavy today.Along with my brokenheartedness over what had happened to Yasmine, I still kept thinking about Nyx. In partic ular, I kept thinking about what shed said to me. The man in the dream. Who was the man in the dream? The perplexity consumed me, as otiose as it was. I kept iterate Dantes words, trying to tell myself it didnt matter that the consentient thing had been a hoax. But that dark silhouette still haunted my minds eye, and some part of me believed that if I knew his identity, then maybe it could all be real.Georgina?I moody from the rainy street and saw Vincent standing(a) in front of me. Beyond him, a preoccupied Maddie flipped through a contract of cardigans. Id thought he looked grief-stricken in my apartment, but that was nothing compared to what I saw now. His face was pinched and pale. His eyes were shiny and red, but whether from crying or lack of sleep, I couldnt say. Probably both.He install me my apartment key. Just wanted to give this back up.I took it. You didnt need to find me for that. You could have left it.Yeah. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground. I guess I justwanted to talk to someone.Have you, um, seen Yasmine?He shook his head. Nope. I dont know what happened to her. I mean, I knowshes off somewhere in Hell. Maybe they have orientation or something. I dont know. some(prenominal) it is, it must be awful. And its my fault.Its not, I said automatically. It was her choice.She did it for me, though.It doesnt matter why. The point is that she did it willingly. It isnt your place to question the decisions she makes.As the words left my mouth, I had a total holy shit piece. I was saying exactly what everyone had been verbalise me about Seth. I was saying exactly what Seth himself had been telling me for so long.I guess. I dont know. He sighed. Its so fucking stupid too. All these years, weve been so fabian to stay at arms length, so she wouldnt fall. We were so good holding back from what we wanted. And then, we get the same results from a stupid moment of confusion and passion. It just happened so fast, you know ? I acted to protect her, she acted to protect me He trailed off and looked as though he might weep. I word formhearted of felt like that myself. Its a pretty big club, Dante had said.Butif shes already fallenwell. Maybe you guys can be together now.Vincent shook his head and gave me a small smile that do him look sadder than when he hadnt been smiling. I dont know. I dont even know if shell meet with me now. Something tells me she wont want me to see her like that.And how do you feel?I love her flatlyor, well, at leastI loved Yasmine the angel unconditionally. Shes not that woman anymore. I mean, she may hate whats happenedshe may be miserable. But eventually, shell settle in. They always do. And then shell be one of them. She wont be the same Yasmine, and I dont know if I can love her or if she can love me. Part of what make her such a great person was that she resisted that temptationand I think she felt the same about me.I forgot Vincent for a moment as my attention turned inward, toward my own situation. Again, it was like Seth and me, I realized. The continual focus in our arrangement was a pain, yet the morals it was based on were part of what attracted us. He might have said he was okay with us not having sex, but I think some part of him loved me because of my continual refusal to give in to that. Likewise, I loved his stead-fastness not only in abstaining from me but from other lovers as well. It was part of what had made the fight so shocking. I didnt expect him to be weak.And yeteven if we admired each other for our principles, was it expense it? And had that really been helplessness on his part? Vincent and Yasmine had been together much longer than Seth and I had, overrefinement themselves in the same way. In the end, it had done them no good. Things had unfolded as they had.Star-crossed love isnt as glamorous as it seems, Vincent said, perhaps opine my thoughts.I never believed it was.Sometimes I thinkwell, maybe it would have been be tter if she and I had never been together at all. These years have been wonderfulbut well, shed still be the woman I loved if Id never gotten involved.I didnt know about that. Surely, brief moments of joy were worth the pain that might follow? Wasnt that why I was with Seth, despite knowing hed eventually die? Maybe Seth had been right about taking chances. Life was short. Maybe you needed to seize what good you could. It was all so confusing, and all of a sudden, I wanted to talk to Seth about all of this about living life and taking risks, about what made us love one another, and about what made our relationship worth fighting for. I didnt want to make the mistakes Yasmine and Vincent had. Seth and I needed to sit down with open minds and make this thing with us work.What are you going to do now? I asked Vincent. I didnt think now was the best time to argue relationship ism with him.He gestured vaguely behind him. take off town. Even being masked, I know theyre spirit for me. I need to comprehend out somewhere.I nodded. I was sad to see him go, but I knew what the other angels and demons would do if they found him. So, I wished him well and shared a brief squeezing before he departed. As I watched him leave, I again pondered the cautionary tale he represented. Growing anxious, I hoped this airport trip would go quickly so that I could call Seth.Wandering to the other side of the store, I found Maddie pay for her purchases.Who was that guy? she asked me, handing over her credit card. He was cute. Bedraggledbut cute.Hes had a long day, I told her. And a long timeless existence to go. Hes just a friend.Is he whizz?I thought about it. Yeah, I guess he is.While I waited for her, I looked over at a nearby mirror. Maddie was still going strong with her new cute and stylish self. Shed gotten a haircut too, the layering of which made her face appear light-handed and lovely. The slacks and sweater, though simple, looked sleek and ritzy on her.By contrast, I looked kind of like the ugly stepsister. Oh, I still had the nice figure and pretty face born of shape-shifting, but Id thrown on jeans and an old coat, not really concerned with high fashion today. I overly hadnt bothered to shape-shift my hair. Id simply brushed it into a high ponytail. Most telling of all was my face. I wore as much grief as Vincent. There was a inconstancy to my eyes that startled me. It counteracted all the other beauty of my features. Glancing back at Maddie, I realized she was the hot one today.When we finally hit the road to the airport, traffic was as horrible as Id expected. I-5 was at a standstill, and with my luck lately, there was probably an hazard up in advance to compound the rush hour and holiday mess. Sighing, I colonised back into my seat.Okay, I told Maddie, desperately needing distraction. Whats the herald? What adventurous things have you done? Im pretty sure youve more than met your quota.Well, she began. Theres the new clothes, of cour se. Youve seen a lot of them, and I own more lingerie than I ever have in my life. I was always kind of afraid of it, but theres so much cute stuff out there, you know?Yup. I sure do.I got a bunch of high heels too. Im still kind of learning to walk in them, but Im doing okay, I think. She groaned and looked like the snarky feminist source she was. I feel likewell, like a girl.I smiled and looked at the cars ahead of me. All the variables were in place for an accident, so I had to be careful. In this kind of stop and go, people tended to cease compensable attention and fall into a lull. That was how cars got rear-ended. It was as well as an oddity that Seattle acceptrs had trouble driving in the rain.You seemed fine in the heels to me. What else have you done? Other than shopping?I sign-language(a) up for a judo class.You did not.I so did, she said, laughing. It was the craziest class I could think of. Besides, I can finally get back at Doug after all those years he used to pul l my hair.Well-deserved, I said. I moved over to the utmost(a) lane, with the futile hope that it might move a fraction faster. Anything else?Mmmwell. I started looking for my own place.Thats a good idea.And checking out flights to some places Ive always wanted to see. other good idea.And I slept with Seth.I nearly drove into the median.What? I said, jerking the twine back to my own lane. Maddie had her hands stretched out protectively. Did you say Seth?YeahSeth Mortensen?She sounded incredulous. Of course. Who else?It was one of those things that was so ludicrous, I couldnt even fully react. It was like saying, Hey, did you notice the earth just exploded? It wasnt real because all the rest of the data in your know world said it was impossible. My brain wasnt going to bother processing it yet. Wasted cells.HowI mean, what I shook my head. Explain.I could see by her face that she was dying to. This was what had been bursting in her in my office yesterday.Well, two nights ago, I ran back to the bookstore after closing because Id left something. I saw Seth out in the parking lot. Hed been out somewhere and was coming back to get his car.Somewhere was my apartment. That had been the night of the fight.Anyway, she continued. He looked kind of down, and I remembered what youd said about taking risks. Plus, he still owed me the date, right? So, I asked him out for a drink, and he said sure.I tried not to drive into the median again. He didnt drink, did he?No, not alcohol. But we stayed out really late, and we had a great time. You cant even suppose how great he is to talk to. He comes crossways as shy, but once you get to know him She sighed happily. He thinks like I do toowants to do all sorts of things, go placesAnyway, the place finally closed, and he asked if I wanted to go flux out at his place for a while.I couldnt even look at her now. Sethasked you back to his place?Well, if we went back to mine, wed have to hang out with Doug, and we just wanted to talk more. And we didexcept, well, after a whilewe stopped talking. And one thing kind of led to another. She exhaled, like she still couldnt believe it herself. I never do things like that. Not so soon. But, well, hes a nice guy, you know? And I wanted to do something adventurousNo, no, no. This really wasnt happening. This was a dream. This was Nyx getting back at me for not helping her. She was sending me a nightmare, one I hoped Id wake up from soon.I didnt realize how long Id been quiet until Maddie hesitantly asked, Georgina? You still with me? You dont thinkyou dont think I was too easy, do you? There was fear in her voice, fear of my dismay and disapproval.Huh? Nonoof course not. I took a deep breath. So, um, it was good?Oh, yeah She gave a nervous giggle. I cant believe Im even talking about this. But, yeah, Seths a great lover. Hes really attentive.Yeah, I imagine he would be.God, I cant believe this happened.That made two of us. Whats going to happen now? Was ita fling? Aft er all, what else could it be? Seth was with me, right? I had no reason to be upset. Id given him the endeavour to get sex elsewhere. In featureI had told him to that night. If he wanted to sleep with her, that was fine. But obviously, it meant nothing. It had to be a fling, right?Right?I dont know, she admitted. I hope not. I really like himand it was so great. I feel like we really connectedlike the auction hadnt just been because he felt sorry for me. He said he would call and wed go out again sometime. Once more, she turned timid and unsure. You dont thinkyou dont think hes the kind of guy whod just say something like that and not mean it, do you? She was the Maddie Id know before, the one who looked up to me and wanted my guidance. The one who didnt trust men.I stared ahead and trenchant maybe the heavens were weeping for me now. After several moments, I finally said, No, Maddie. If he says he wants to go out, he means it. Thats the kind of guy he is.